Delayed by fog- đến muộn vì sương mù

At  the entrance  (cổng vào, lối vào) to a big office in London there was a book which all employeer had to sign when they arrived each morning.At 9 o'clock, the manager's secretary, who lived in a small flat above the office , had to draw a red line under the last name  in the book, and anyone who came after that had to explain why he was late.

Whenever there was a thick fog in the city , the first person who arrived late usually wrote:"Delayed by fog" under the red line in the book, and then everybody else who came after that just put "ditto" (như trên) underneath (adv- dưới)

But one foggy morning, the first man who arrived last wrote:"My wife had a baby early this morning" instead of "Delayed by fog" under the red line in the book.Twenty or thirty people who came after him put "ditto" underneath this as usual.

Clever - khôn lỏi

Whenever the neighbour came to Bob's house, Bob knew that he was going to borrow something. Once, seeing the neighbour outside of the house, Bob told his mother:
- You know , he is going to borrow something . Let me make him stop borrowing again.
The neighbour reached the door and said:
-Bob, do you use the grass- cutter ( máy cắt cỏ)  or the mop (cây lau nhà) today?
-I'm afraid-Bob said - I need both today!
-Oh!The neighbour laughed- that means you will not be able to play tennis today!So let me borrow your tennis racket!

Polite

As you know, the English people is very polite. If you employer wants to fire you, he will use most polite sentences. And here are popular sentences:

- I don't know what we  will work without you but we will try!

- I will tell every people that you leave the job because of your illness. But in fact, I was taken ill with you!

- You are not irresponsible! The problem is you are responsiblle for many disaster than any one can, in your position!

- I have a good news for you!You willl not have to worry about going to work late anymore!

-Tell me: how long have you worked here except tomorrow!

Turn out- đuổi khéo

A small boy was back home from school, when reaching near the door, he suddenly heard a male voice courting ( tán tỉnh ) his mother , come from inside the house.

- This night, I will wait you at the usual place! Remember to be on time, my little cucumber! (dưa chuột)

So angry but didn't know what to do, the boy took a brick (viên gạch) and threw at the door. His mother run out and shouted:

- What do you do so noisily?

-Nothing!I just threw a cat intending ( ý định) to eat stealthily (vụng trộm) a cucumber in our kitchen cabinet! (tủ đựng thức ăn)

 The man understood, turned pale (tái xanh),  bent (cúi xuống) his head and run away!

I'm his father

A lot of boys and girls in Western countries are wearing the same kinds of clothers and many of them have long hair, so it is often difficult to tell whether they are boys or girls.

One day, an old gentlement (ông lão ) went for  a walk in a park in Washington and when he was standing on the other side  of the pond (ao, vũng nước)

"My goodness!" the old man said to the person who was sitting next to him on the bench (cái ghế dài).

"Do you see that person with the loose (rộng, lỏng lẻo) pants (quần dài) and long hair?Is it a boy or girl?"

"A girl" said his neighbor. "She is my daughter"

"Oh!" the old man said quickly ."Please forgive me . I didn't know that you were her mother".

"I'm not" said that person."I'm her father"